Potty Training Strategies for Success
Potty training. Ugh. Is that what you’re thinking? Does it exhaust you and make you clench your fists just thinking about it? Take a deep breath. Relax. Allow yourself to see it for what it is – part of helping your child gain independence, giving her room to learn about how her body works, and gently guiding her so that she can gain confidence in her capabilities as a person.
I’m going to do my best to break it all down without overwhelming you. My goal here is to share with you the lessons I’ve learned when I potty trained each of my 5 children. I know this doesn’t quite connect with sleep in every way, but it seems there are many parents who would love advice in this area, so I’m going outside the box on this one!
This is all very fresh in my mind because our youngest turned two last week, and she just completed her first full week of using the potty and wearing underwear. With each child it’s gotten markedly easier, and I started asking myself, “Why is that? Why don’t I have the same issues this time around? Why is this child ready sooner?” etc. I believe the answer to these questions has everything to do with my attitude, my reactions and my demeanor while we embarked on each potty training adventure. Here you’ll find what works. What really truly works for every child. The key is to prepare YOURSELF – not your child – to succeed and then draw a line in the sand.
DON’T WAIT TOO LONG TO GET STARTED The most common mistake parents make is waiting until they think their child is “ready” to potty train. I used to think this too! With our first, it was like a roller coaster ride. One week we’d try it, then he’d scream and poop in his pants and I’d decide he wasn’t ready. I ended up potty training him off and on for almost an entire year! It was a power struggle and a major source of stress for both of us. Now that I’ve been through it a few times, I realize that if I had stuck with it from the beginning, he would have been successful much sooner.
With that said, begin talking to your child about what using the potty is all about when she turns 18 months. Let her watch you (and whoever else will let her) use the toilet. Talk about it with her in an adult way. Use real terms and don’t disrespect her by making it a game. Begin telling her that using the toilet is for big girls, and when it’s time you will teach her how to do it herself. Show her the underwear she will wear, the potty chair she’ll use, etc. so that she can start getting used to the idea. Don’t overwhelm her, but bring it to her attention every week or so in an extremely casual, non-pushy way.
I believe very strongly that all children are capable of being potty trained around their 2nd birthday. A little bit before is better than a little bit after if you have to choose. Many times younger siblings are ready even sooner and will pick it up before you even realize it! From 18 months on, start gaining her interest and awareness so that when you’re ready to take the plunge she’ll be familiar with the process already.
BE PREPARED There are two areas that require preparedness. One has to do with the things you should physically have on hand in order to potty train effectively, the other has to do with your emotional capacity to deal with the ups and downs that will inevitably invade your life for the first week or two. I’ll tackle the easy one first!
This is a list of necessities while potty training. I’ll explain the less obvious ones in detail later on in the post.
- MANY pairs of underwear for your child. (I’m talking 20ish)
- 2-3 cloth diapers, I recommend Fuzzy Bunz. I don’t use cloth diapers regularly, but for potty training this makes a gigantic difference (more explanation below). http://www.fuzzibunzonline.com/
- A potty chair OR a seat that sits on top of the toilet, along with a step-stool that she can use to get onto the potty HERSELF. All kids are different and it’s your job from 18-months to the potty training time to figure out what she feels the most comfortable with. One is not better than the other, it’s all about what she feels confident using.
- Mattress protectors (2) or Ultimate Crib Sheets (2)
- 2 sets of sheets/blankets
- Extra Laundry soap
- All purpose cleaner, carpet cleaner if you have a lot of carpet.
- Paper towels
- Prunes, fruit, water, juice, fiber rich foods
- Trash bags to protect furniture/carseat/highchair
- towels
- A motivational reward of some sort. This doesn’t have to be a huge deal. Right now we’re using Skittles or chocolate chips because those are things she NEVER gets to have so it’s super special. This has to be something that truly motivates her.
- A travel potty is an absolute must. I honestly could not potty train without it or I’d feel stuck in my house all day, every day! I found mine at a consignment sale, but they aren’t expensive and seriously make things so much easier to manage. Here’s a link to the one I have: http://www.amazon.com/Kalencom-On-Go-Potty-Blue/dp/B000F1MM2I/ref=sr_1_12?ie=UTF8&qid=1387850288&sr=8-12&keywords=travel+potty The expensive liners are bogus. Just use the diaper sacs like this. They’re cheap, last forever and fit perfectly: http://www.amazon.com/Sassy-Disposable-Diaper-Sacks-200-Count/dp/B0007V644S/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1387850387&sr=8-1&keywords=diaper+sacs
- Wipes
- Make sure you look at your calendar and schedule 3 days of just staying home in the beginning. By the 4th day she should be able to go for a quick errand, and by the 7th she’ll be using the potty while you’re out and about with success (most of the time!). It’s important that you make the first few days very stress free for both of you.
Now that you have the tangible items you’ll need to succeed, it’s time to discuss how to prepare your heart and mind for what you’re about to do. I’m not going to lie. Potty training is hard and frustrating and makes us want to pull our hair out over and over again. But what I want you to realize is that how we, as parents, act sets the stage for the whole show. She will feel encouraged or ashamed depending on how you react to a puddle on the floor. She will be excited about using the potty next time or become constipated with fear depending on your facial expressions and body language when she comes to you with messy underwear. Every aspect of her success relies on what you say and what you do. Now, I realize this is a high calling and no one is going to respond perfectly every time. But it’s vital that you prepare yourself, no – force yourself – to put on a happy face and act like using the potty is something you know she can do in time. You’re her cheerleader after all! A little poop or pee on the floor is very minor and is just part of the process. Get over it!
KEEP IT FROM BECOMING A BATTLE OF WILLS This is so important! Kids are smart, and they will use whatever they think is important to us for their benefit. Make sure you never let on how important potty training is to you!!! Always act like it’s just another thing going on around the house – nothing special, just using the potty. Don’t sit by the potty while she’s using it, don’t hover and continue nagging her about it. Refrain from saying things like, “Did you go? Put your pee in the potty – you can do it! Let me see, is there any in there?” Just go about your business and let her hop on and off at her leisure. Eventually she will go, and that’s wonderful! But don’t make it your business – it’s all part of the process of letting her figure it out for herself.
With my daughter, I literally talk to her about it as if we were looking through a book or chatting about her dinner. I say things like, “Let me know if you need to use the potty and I’m happy to help.” Or, “What do you think about pee in your underwear? It feels a little bit gross, doesn’t it? Next time you’ll be more comfortable if you put your pee in the potty instead.” With my oldest I probably said things like this, “Ok buddy, it’s time to sit on the potty now. I know you need to go.” Or, “Do not pee in your underwear! Your pee is supposed to go in the potty. What a mess.” Do you see the difference? With my daughter, I’m respecting her autonomy and ability to make her own decisions about where she’d like to put her pee, but with my son I was deciding that for him. It has to be the child’s “thing” – her own, personal decision to figure it out and learn how to use it in her own way.
If you find that she’s starting to use the potty to stay up later (refuses to pee before bed) or to get your attention (pees all over the place or in her bed), keep the big picture in mind. The goal is for her to learn for herself what she needs to do. If she won’t use the potty before bed, put her to bed anyway and don’t let it bother you. If she pees in her bed instead, go to her without showing your frustration one bit and say something like, “Oh sweet girl, you peed in your bed. Doesn’t it feel yucky? Everything is all wet now. I’ll clean it up quickly so that you can get some sleep. Next time you’ll probably feel better if you call for me so that I can help you put your pee in the potty instead of your cuddly bed.” Make sure the monkey is on her back – you don’t mind changing the sheets, but you feel bad for her that she had to lay in wet pajamas, etc. Then change the sheets quickly and leave the room after a quick kiss – no extra attention, cuddles, etc. This would only encourage more of the same!
THE BASIC STEPS TO POTTY TRAING SUCCESS
- Get rid of the diapers. When I say get rid of them, I mean never use them on the child again for the rest of her life. This is difficult, but SO incredibly important! If she thinks it’s an option to go back to having her booty wiped and powdered every time she makes a mess, she’ll never be successful. After you take that last diaper off of her, tell her she’s all done with diapers and it’s time to learn how to use the potty! Yay! Put underwear on her and a shirt only. Show her your underwear, siblings’ underwear, etc. Tell her that when she pees it will make her underwear wet, but if she puts it in the potty she will stay dry. (The words wet and dry need to become a mainstay in her vocabulary, so use them often when this topic comes up!)
- Show her the potty chair/seat and explain what’s going to happen. Explain that when she feels her pee about to come out that she’s going to practice putting it into the potty. (I ALWAYS say pee and don’t include the poo part until later. Many children get caught up about going poo, so I’ve learned that by not mentioning it, they figure it out naturally without all the fanfair.) Tell her that if she feels like she needs to pee, to tell you so that you can help her. Show her that after she goes you’ll dump it into the potty and flush it away. If you think a tangible reward will help, show her the treat she’ll get when she uses the potty. Never time her or place her on the potty “just incase”. Always leave the timing up to her and what her body is telling her.
- Offer lots of water, dried fruit such as prunes, and fiber rich foods. This will give her lots of opportunities to practice and keep the feeling of having to urinate fresh in her mind. It will also help her bowel movements to stay soft throughout the process. An hour before naptime and 2 hours before bedtime it’s best to withhold liquids. This will help big time with helping her stay dry during her sleep periods.
- Go about your normal day. What’s worked for 4/5 of my kids is to put the potty chair wherever we are so that it’s convenient and it’s close by whenever they needed to use it. I’ve read many potty training documents that say the potty chair should stay in the bathroom only. I don’t see a problem with having it wherever it’s convenient for a week or 2 until she gets the hang of it. In fact, I’ve seen faster success and less stress putting it in a familiar place! As a mother it just makes more sense, doesn’t it? Going back to what a normal day looks like while potty training…If you were a fly on the wall over this past week, you would have seen me and my 2-year old in the kitchen with the potty chair in the corner. I was baking like crazy just to keep myself busy so that I wouldn’t try to control her and make it “my thing”. I busied myself while she climbed on the chairs, played with her babies, looked at her books, etc. In the beginning, I waited for the accidents. She’d start crying hysterically every time and yell, “Pee pee floor! Pee pee floor!” I’d count to five before turning around (to make sure it didn’t look like I was alarmed one bit) and then I’d say calmly, “It’s ok baby girl! It’s just pee! This is what your body does. The pee has to come out and this time it came out on the floor. Watch me clean it up.” Then I would place her on her potty and say, “Next time you feel like your pee will come out, put your pee in the potty and not on the floor. Ok? Tell me and I will help you.” And that’s pretty much how it goes for the first 3 days. With each accident, I could see her begin to understand the process. Little by little it started to click. Within a week she was down to 1 accident a day, and today (1 week and 2 days) she had zero accidents and has been dry for naps and through the night for the past 4 days.
- Put her in underwear for naps and through the night from the very first day. Does this scare you? So many people look at me like I’m crazy when they hear that I do this. Even my husband questions me, but then remembers the successful DRY nights that soon follow. Please don’t be afraid of a little pee in the bed. It’s so worth the learning experience for your child. With my oldest son I used pull-ups and he wet the bed until he was 8! All of the other ones stayed dry through the night almost immediately after they started using the potty because they knew what would happen if they went ahead and peed/pooped. The first thing I do to get a feel for how much control they actually have during sleep periods, is to put a cloth diaper (there’s a link above) over their underwear. I tell my kids it’s “fuzzy underwear” so that they don’t think it’s a diaper, and I always point out that they have their real underwear underneath and that it will get wet if they pee in it. This allows them to feel it if they begin to pee, and leads to better bladder control faster. The cloth diaper is to keep the crib dry “just in case”, while allowing them to feel the wetness against their skin. Rarely, a child will figure out that there’s no real consequence when it’s on, so they begin peeing frequently. In this case, take it off and just do the underwear for a night or a nap. After they experience the wetness that gets on them, under them, around them from truly wetting the bed, they begin to understand and gain control quickly. Then I go back to the underwear/cloth diaper until they are consistently dry (about a week of dryness), at which time they are ready for underwear from that point on. If they wet in the night, I always prepare ahead of time by layering the waterproof cover and sheet (waterproof cover, sheet, waterproof cover sheet) so that I can just rip off the top two layers quickly and get them back to sleeping without searching for sheets and putting them on.
- Watch/listen to the monitor intently when it’s nearing the end of a nap or when it gets close to the time she typically wakes in the morning. You may even decide to get her up 15 minutes earlier, which is ok! The most common time for toddlers to pee in their crib/bed is right after they wake, so if you can get in there fast enough you can encourage her success by placing her on the potty immediately and celebrating that she woke up dry. This takes discipline on our part as parents, but it’s so worth it to get that encouragement and teaching in at such a crucial time!!!
- When you go out, there are a few things you’ll need to get ready beforehand. Since she’s wearing underwear now, you need to be prepared for accidents to avoid being stressed and caught off-guard when they happen. That way, she’s constantly encouraged and feeling confident, even if she makes a mistake. You’ll find that she’ll have fewer accidents at home because there’s less distraction, so don’t be discouraged if you have a busy day and she has more accidents – tomorrow is always a new day! If you were to look inside my diaper bag right now, you would find: a travel potty chair (it folds up), a Ziploc bag filled with a fresh pair of clothes, underwear and socks, a baggie of chocolate chips, 3 Kroger bags to hold wet clothes, hand sanitizer and wipes. When she has to use the potty, I grab that bag and her and head to the restroom where I set up the travel potty. Also, be sure to line her carseat with a small trash bag and towel (I just smooth them out underneath her bottom). I can’t say it enough…being prepared is what it’s all about! If you’re ready for it, your attitude and perspective will be fantastic and optimistic. You can do this!!!!
So…there you have it. I hope I didn’t overwhelm you! Here are the take aways: BE POSITIVE AND ENCOURAGING AT ALL TIMES, REMAIN CASUAL, REMEMBER IT’S A LEARNING PROCESS FOR YOUR CHILD AND IT TAKES TIME TO FIGURE IT OUT, PEE AND POOP ON YOUR FLOOR IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD – IT’S ACTUALLY THE FASTEST WAY TO A DIAPER-FREE WORLD, BE PREPARED AND THINK AHEAD.
Go for it and don’t turn back!
Hi Laura,
I enjoyed reading this article, and found much of it to resonate with my experience of working with infants and toddlers. One other aspect I have found to work well with young children is to bring them to the potty regularly and often, particularly after they wake up, after meals, or before going out. The phrasing of the invitation is as you know, key. I find that a phrase like “It’s time to use the potty” can work better than “Do you want to use the potty”. The latter requires a different level of awareness (that does develop), but more importantly it can elicit from the toddler a “No” that is not so much about the need to use the potty but the need to assert their emerging sense of individuality.
I also wonder whether you might explore the possibility of not having rewards associated with using the potty. As you describe so wonderfully, toddlers have a natural desire to learn how to adapt to their society, including using the toilet as mum and dad and big brother and big sister do. I have over the years found that a matter-of-fact acknowledgment of the toddler’s ‘success’ on the potty works wonderfully well. They feel genuinely thrilled to be developing this possibility of controlling where to pee or poo, and that joy has consistently and routinely proved to be motivation enough with the infants and toddlers I have worked with.
I love your focus on the use of pants that allow them to feel wet. And the whole host of practical tips including lining the car seat! It is the details that make it work, but of course you know that.
All the best and thank you for the work you do.
Hi Paul! Thank you for your comments and kindness. I agree about the rewards, but some kids just need that extra motivation – especially older children who are outside of the natural potty training “window”. In some families, toddlers are not often given chances to practice independence, and then when potty training starts they are confused and don’t know what to do. Praising their efforts in a tangible way that they understand may be the only thing that works for these children. But I agree – rewards are not right for all children, probably most children.
Thanks again for your comment! Have a special holiday season!
getting rid of the diapers at nap and bedtime is a little terrifying to me. he waits til nap and bedtime to poop. he usually poops as soon as he wakes from his sleep. sometimes I get him as soon as he wakes, before he poops and he holds it til his next sleep encounter. in addition to our poop problem, his pull-up has to be at least 2 pounds in the mornings. sometimes it’s so full of pee and poop that it explodes, and we use the nighttime ones. he has very healthy kidneys. although, we’ve never tried limiting his fluids two hours prior. we usually have dinner between 5-5:30 then immediately afterwards go to bath and bedtime. I guess he will be wetting his bed til the age of eight as well. 🙂 do they even make pull-ups that big??
Hi Wanda! I know some disagree with rewards for potty training, but it can be very helpful when kids want to “go” in the comfort of their own bed/crib. My oldest would ALWAYS poop at naptime. No matter what I did, it was just his routine. It wasn’t that he refused to go at other times, it was just that he got the urge to go when he was alone in his bed. We finally turned a corner when I told him to call me when he had to go and he’d get a reward. Granted, it took awhile – he needed to mature a bit before this worked – but if you find the right reward he will be motivated. For every nap I’d put him down for his nap about 15 min earlier than usual, sit by the monitor until he called me, help him use the potty and then give him his reward and then back to bed. It was our routine for a long time! I also put his potty chair in his room for a few weeks so that he could use it in there instead of transitioning to the bathroom when he was already in the mode to go, if that makes sense! Also, limiting fluids before sleep times makes a HUGE difference. With newly potty-trained Faith, if I give her water after 6pm she wets her bed EVERY time. It’s like clockwork. Even if I feed her a watery fruit, like watermelon or grapes, she’ll be unsuccessful. If I were you, I’d continue using the pull-ups until he can show you that he’s able to call you when he needs to go. Then transition to the underwear, cloth diaper cover scenario.
muchas gracias for that tip! I will try the potty seat in his room and move to underwear/fuzzibunz if successful. unfortunately, we’ve tried bribing him with all kinds of rewards, big and small, yet nothing has worked thus far. it’s so weird, he went in the potty four times previously without any trauma as far as I could tell and has since decided that he just doesn’t want to poop in the toilet. anyway, thanks for this post, Laura! I will follow your exact instructions for the next one and let you know how it goes. 🙂
Hey Laura. Thankyou for the great tips!
You’re so very welcome, Jane!
Hi Laura,
I stumbled upon your blog post on Pinterest and I really appreciate your advice. My son is 5 years old and has special needs. Potty training was difficult and is still an ongoing process . My daughter is 22 mo old and a friend was trying to encourage me to start potty training her. She is a childcare provider, and her experiences are similar to yours when it comes to potty training. In many ways my husband and I have potty training PTSD, so I was completely not wanting to hear that it was time to potty train again. Your advice makes sense, and we have set a date to start. Wish us luck!
Good luck Lisa! Remember to be positive and stick with it even when it seems impossible. I’m here if you need me. 🙂
Thanks for a great informative article Laura! Looking forward to incorporating some of your ideas when my littlest gets closer to 2.
Hi Laura, I have a 25.5 mo old boy. Do you recommend potty training early for boys as well? I’ve just always heard that boys are more difficult, take more time, and potty train later.
Hi K’Leigh! I’m sorry about the (major) delay in my response! Somehow I didn’t see a few posts come through. I bet your little guy is already happily using the potty, but I love this question and hope that my answer will help other families as well.
I do recommend potty training between 18-24 months for boys as well. Most are closer to 24 months or a few weeks after, but waiting until 3 is not necessary if it’s done right!
Hi, we trained my DD pretty successfully 3 weeks ago. She tells me and her nan and dad when she needs a wee and happily goes on the potty. My problem is she’s with a busy childminder 3 days a week and she just won’t tell her when she needs to go so there are numerous accidents, potential hygiene issues for her household and other mindees. Childminder is now putting her in pull ups or other kids nappies when she had to go out! I’m at a total loss and other childcare arrangements are either too expensive and other local CM’s are all full. I’m torn between a childminder who is finding it inconvenient and a child who is refusing to communicate.
Dd is 27 months.
Many thanks x
Hi Jenny! I’m so sorry about the delay in responding here…somehow your comment got lost in the shuffle! You’re probably way past this, but I’d love to to offer advice for anyone else who is in the same spot. Start by being super vigilant on the weekends and the other days that she’s with you to watch for signs that she needs to “go”. Make it your priority to stay on top of it whenever you’re together. By this I don’t mean to nag her or put any pressure on, just put her in underwear or nothing at all and watch her like a hawk so that you can help her be successful each time she feels the need to use the potty. In regards to the daycare, ask them to set a timer and to put her on the potty every 15 minutes. If she uses it, give them a reward to offer her. After she uses it they should start timing her after 1 hour, every 15 minutes until she goes, etc. It’s going to take practice at home to make a difference while she’s under someone else’s care! Patience and time will do wonders. I know this is frustrating!!!
Hi Jen! I would ask the sitter to set a timer to beep every 20 min. When it beeps, ask her to gently remind her “don’t forget to let me know if you’d like to use the bathroom!” If she goes, set the timer for 1 hour, and after it beeps set it for 20 min intervals until she goes again. She’ll get the hang of it! They just need a reminder!
Hi Laura,
So I read your post a couple months ago and found it super helpful and encouraging because we were about to start trying (again) to potty train my 3.5 year old. I had tired before but was totally making the mistake of overreacting every time he had an accident and it became a fight so we just gave up and waited. After reading your article, I did what you recommended and it went so much better. I told him in advance, I bought him fun underwear (Lightning McQueen :)), had treats and stickers ready to go and the day before I had aimed to start, he woke up and said he wanted to wear underwear and pee on the potty! I was so thrilled that he actually wanted to take the initiative that I went with it and we started that day.
It has been a bit rocky but he has done so well- I think. It took about a week for him to really get it down, but he figured out peeing on the potty quickly and even started staying dry in the night almost right away.
However we are struggling with a couple of things:
1. He has NEVER successfully pooped on the potty-every day I have poopy underwear to deal with. He seems to have a block about doing it, I don’t know if he is scared, or just being controlling. But since we started 2 months ago, we have seen NO progress in this area AT ALL! I don’t know what to do! I am trying so hard to be relaxed about it and treat it like it is no big deal, but this is getting really old! I don’t mind so much when we are at home, but last week we were at a friend’s house and he filled his pants and it leaked out all over her carpet. I was so embarrassed!
2. He started staying dry in the night just about right away, a couple accidents here and there, but really no big deal, but then about a month or so in, he started wetting the bed consistently just about every night. Unfortunately it was happening at the same time as we were gearing up to move him into the same room as his younger brother, and once we made the move he went back to staying dry again. He was good for a week, and now has started wetting the bed again-this is the 3rd morning in a row, I’ve been woken up at the crack of dawn to him yelling “Mommy I peed”! And now of course he is in the same room as his brother, so his brother is up 🙁
3. The last couple of days have been filled with daytime accidents. Like we never potty trained at all. He just forgets or doesn’t care, like he has totally regressed.
Can you help me out here? I’m expecting baby #3 in April and I’m at a bit of a loss and feeling so discouraged about it. I can handle the occasional accident or even bedwetting, but him flat out refusing to poop on the potty is driving me insane. I’m so tempted to just put him back in diapers and wait a while longer. He loves wearing his underwear and it seems very important to him to keep wearing them, but I don’t know what the point is anymore. Do I just keep pushing through this and eventually he will get it??? Is there anything I can do that will change this? I have tried gently reminding him about peeing during the day; we limit his drinking after supper and make sure he pees before bed; we even tried waking him enough to get him to pee when we went to bed, but he wouldn’t wake up enough to actually pee. As far as the poop, I have tried so many different ways of motivating him, treats, hot wheels cars, stickers with a train set after so many stickers etc., but it MAKES NO DIFFERENCE. He just flat out will not do it. He isn’t constipated, I KNOW THAT for sure. I even put him in a pull-up yesterday because my sister was watching him while I was at the doctor, just in case he had an accident.
I don’t know what to do anymore and I just need someone to help me out and give me some advice. Do you have any insight for me?
Thanks
Hi Bev! Here you go:
1.) Have you tried letting him do something special when he needs to “go”? For example, playing on the ipad/phone while he’s on the potty. This will encourage him to put it in the right spot and it will help him relax and take the focus off of the emotional pressure associated with going #2. Also, ask him if he’d like privacy. Don’t hover around when he says he needs to go!
2.)Yes, this is very common. I’ve read that bedwetting is cyclical, with the seasons possibly. Also, many children respond to stress (happy or sad) by wetting the bed. For example, every time we travel, my 3 year old wets the bed! She also peed in her underwear every night during the Christmas season. For now, even though she’s dry every night, I put her in pull-ups until she’s consistently over this stage. After having Samuel a few months ago I just can’t be getting up to change sheets in the night and nursing a baby! Give yourself a break here. He’s doing great!!
3.) This is part of the maturing process and it will get better! Remember to remind him gently every now and then, “Sweetie let me know if you need to pee!” Try rewards. Offer him something small every time he goes. Don’t use it as a bribe, just casually let him know they’re available if he chooses to put his pee in the right place!
Hi Laura,
We have been following your potty training guidelines/manual to the “T” however we have yet to have a night without any accidents. We are going on week 3 of accidents at night. Some nights our 2.5 yr old wakes up b/c she’s wet. Other times she doesn’t notice and we discover it in the morning when we wake her the 15 min before she typically wakes. We hold off liquids for 2 hours before bedtime and she pees one last time on the potty before going down. Naps are not an issue. We can hold liquids off for an hour and she naps 2-2.5 hrs and wakes up dry. She sometimes doesn’t have to go when she wakes up either. What are we missing? Is there something we are doing wrong? Thank you in advance.
Hi Nicole! Yes, the nighttime can be so hard when it comes to potty training. Some kids sleep so deeply that they don’t even realize they’re doing it until it’s too late! My oldest child had issues with this until he was 10 and I was going crazy trying to figure out how to help him stop. One thing to try would be to take her to the bathroom before you go to bed at night. Some kids literally stay asleep and groggily walk to the potty, use it and then fall right back to sleep without any recollection of it the next morning! Other kids get mad and it doesn’t work because they end up having trouble falling back to sleep, or they refuse to pee on demand (LOL). It’s worth a try though! We did this with 3 of our kids and for 2 of them it worked like a charm.
For some kids not being able to hold it at night is just an immaturity thing and it will take time to come together. If this is the case, put a pull-up or cloth diaper on her for a few weeks, then offer a reward to see if she can hold it out of sheer will. This works especially well for those who pee after waking in the morning. If she can hold it and earn a reward for a full week straight, go ahead and let her wear panties instead. For others it’s a cyclical or even seasonal issue. One of my kids would be dry and then all of a sudden start waking up wet almost on cue with seasonal changes. Weird, I know! There are other kids who have trouble at night because of things going on in their families that brings excitement or worry. For example, my daughter Faith, did awesome for about 3 months after potty training, and stayed dry every single night. Then all of a sudden she was soaking the sheets every night. Then she’d stay dry for a few months, and start wetting again. We realized a lot of her bed wetting happens when things change, such as travel, new baby, holidays, stressful times, etc. When I see the slightest changes happening for our family, I put a pull-up on her for a week or sometimes more. If I were you, I would take the pressure off of the situation and put a pull-up on her for awhile, then try again. With some time she’ll get it!
Thank you Laura. The suggestions you gave are great and we have tried them! I’ve tried waking Lucia when I go to bed and taking her to the potty and she gets so upset. She’s just so sleepy. Poor thing. We have been doing the cloth diaper over her panties and it just doesn’t absorb enough. We still end up having to wash the sheets, sleep sack, pillow, pj’s, panties and blankie first thing in the morning.
I was under the impression that pull ups were confusing for children? Is this not true in instances like this? I feel like a failure having to put a pull up on her. Guess I should get over it, huh?