How to Tell if You Have an Overtired Baby

One thing that makes or breaks a good day is whether or not you're dealing with an overtired baby or toddler.

Everyone can recognize a child who hasn't had enough sleep - but how can you tell where the happy baby ends and the sleepy baby begins?

This can be a very fine line at times, and when you cross it with a cranky baby in your arms you wonder where you went wrong.

As a parent, it's important to know what to look for at different stages of development.  so that you can successfully prevent ending up with an overtired baby!

• 0 - 8 Weeks

  1. Babies  under 8 weeks of age literally cannot get enough snuggling, suckling and nurturing. This is where the phrase "sleeping like a baby" comes from because every parent thinks "Wow! This is so easy - what was everyone warning me about? All he does is sleep!" It's true!  He will sleep well most of the time at this age and enjoy being close to you.
  2. In this early stage the most important thing to remember is to keep the periods of wakefulness brief. If it's been an hour since he woke up from a nap, it's time to start soothing him to sleep again. Most babies cannot make it past 1.5 hours before they become overtired, and as a result cannot fall asleep easily (no matter how hard you try).
  3. The timing at this age is what's important - don't worry about the method you used to get him to sleep or whether or not he was put down sound asleep or drowsy...it doesn't matter HOW, but it does matter WHEN.
  4. There aren't many signs of tiredness here, but when he cries nonstop and cannot fall asleep, you'll know he was awake longer than he should have been. In this case, do whatever it takes to get him to sleep - wear him in a carrier, drive around the neighborhood, use massage or sing to him. And recognize that next time he can't be awake that long and should be encouraged to sleep sooner.

• 8-16 Weeks

  1. The hours of wakefulness within this age range do not change very much yet. Your baby still needs to sleep within 1-2 hours of waking, so plan to begin your soothing process about an hour after he wakes.
  2. Begin soothing him to sleep even BEFORE he shows signs of being tired.When babies this age are sleepy, they will appear listless, grumpy, highly emotional or just plain drowsy. Swatting at his ears or rubbing his eyes are common as well.
  3. Perfect timing will allow him to fall asleep easily and stay asleep longer. When I say "perfect timing" I don't mean we watch the clock and follow a schedule. Instead, I'm referring to timing your child's sleep periods based on putting him to sleep after 1-2 hours of wakefulness - just before he typically shows you he's sleepy. Babies are very predictable at this age - not if you're focused on the clock - but if you're watching him and are in tune with his need to sleep.

• 4-12 Months

  1. Now is when the fun begins for those of us who love predictability and schedules! Developmentally, after 4 months babies begin to fall in line with our circadian rhythms a little bit more. They wake up at around the same time each morning, take a good nap about 2 hours after waking, and 1-3 more naps throughout the day, then go to bed at a reasonable hour each evening.
  2. After 4 months we focus more on clock times than wake times to determine when he needs to sleep. If the schedule he's on results in easy bedtime routines and long naps, you've most likely found the biological sleep wave that results in restorative sleep. If not, gradually move all sleep periods an hour earlier. It may be that you're putting him down too late, he's entered the overtired zone, and he's missing the most important part of each sleep cycle.
  3. There is a clear difference between wakefulness and sleepiness now.  This makes it easier to be consistent.  Babies handle stress and transitions a lot easier when they don't have the opportunity to fall into the overtired trap!
  4. It's also important to know that your child's temperament at naptime/bedtime is a direct reflection of his wakefulness threshold. If he is fighting sleep and/or will not stay asleep longer than 30 min, chances are that he was pushed past his limit. Make sure you take note of the time he went down and move it earlier by 15 minutes the following day.  This is only true for a baby who knows how to self-soothe, so make sure you've dropped any sleep associations before working on the timing of sleep.

• 1 Year and Beyond

  1. Signs of tiredness from here on out are pretty consistent. Tantrums, tears, disobedience, hitting, fighting sleep, acting like a maniac, etc. These aspects of toddlerhood can be eradicated (well I guess "tamed" is a better word) in most children if they are getting proper sleep.
  2. As I suggested previously, gradually move naps and bedtime earlier until he's falling asleep easily at night - the nap(s) will soon follow. When he's getting adequate rest, you'll notice that he adapts easily throughout the day, is able to regulate his emotions, and settles down without a lot of shenanigans at bedtime.
  3. If you feel the timing is right but your toddler/preschooler is still fighting sleep, it is most likely a behavioral issue. I specialize in helping parents set healthy boundaries and show them how to create expectations around sleep that children are capable of achieving.

I hope you noticed the common thread throughout this post...catch him before he becomes an overtired baby!!! Get to know your child's sleepy cues early on, and be aware that the signs of tiredness do change over time. You'll prevent a lot of heartache and tears by anticipating, recognizing and protecting his need for sleep.  Keeping a sleep log is always very helpful and can shine a spotlight on patterns and sleep cues that are unique to your child.